While we focus mainly on wedding planning from a female’s perspective on Gruene Estate’s wedding blog, we often forget that the groom has an important part to play as well. Wedding planning is a long process, and on average Gruene Estate weddings are usually planned over the course of a year to a year and half. There are a lot of wedding details that need to be hashed out. More often then not, and there are some exceptions, we see the bride doing the majority of the planning. Gents, this wedding advice is for you! Listen carefully, because we are going to share with you some secrets on how you can support your bride-to-be on the days, weeks, and months leading up to your event.
Guys, when planning the wedding, the number one thing that you have to remember is this: she wants you to be an active participant in the process! She might tell you she doesn’t care if you help, but the truth is she does. She wants your leadership. This is why your bride keeps asking you questions about planning, design and logistics. She doesn’t want to be alone! Think big picture here, the long game is the winning the strategy. While she will make all or most of the design decisions, she is going to ask you, “what do you think about …..” many times over. The wrong answer here is, “I don’t care”. This is the one phrase that should never leave your mouth during the planning process. In the short term, this the easiest answer. Remember though, you will be wedding planning on average for a year and a big picture winning strategy is one that involves you actively participating and making her feel loved. That means, thinking about her questions, acknowledging them, and then giving your sincere opinions. Be proactive and find the answers if you don’t know them shows her you care. At Gruene Estate, our engaged couples, are provided with an in-house wedding planner. If you ever find yourself in wedding planning trouble. You have a resource that can help you find solutions. A proactive approach signals to her that she is not alone in the process, and that you are there to help her when there are bumps in the wedding planning road.
The most difficult part of planning a wedding is making the logistical pieces match up. With so many moving parts, there are going to be some stressful situations. Your event involves a long list of “to do’s”: lining up wedding vendors, wedding décor decisions, and sometimes complicated family relationships. This is where you can step in and be your ladies rock when she is in a hard place. It’s really simple (and this is great marriage advice in general), validate how she feels and DO NOT TELL HER IT’S NOT IMPORTANT, OR SHE’S OVERREACTING! Then be an active participant and help her come up with a plan b. After that, validate her again and tell her what a great job she is doing. This is called a validation sandwich, and this shouldn’t be stopped once the wedding is over. Keep doing this for the rest of your marriage!
While we are on the subject of making your bride feel loved and validated, taking the initiative to write your vows out is an easy way to show her that you care. At Gruene Estate, we have New Braunfels’ original open-air wedding chapel, and we have witnessed lots of couples say their vows under its stained-glass windows. Our number one take away from these experiences, is that you should never try to wing your wedding vows. You want your vows to be smooth, meaningful, and heart felt. Write your vows down and work on them as a couple. Don’t wait for her to ask you to write them. Take the initiative, write them out, and then tell her you want to work on them together. This proves to her that you are an active participant, and that you care about the details of your wedding day. Plus, it’s an opportunity to connect and make her feel loved!
Don’t let your bride forget that your wedding day is a celebration. If you feel like the wedding planning process is taking over your life and relationship, then it is time for you step in and make a leadership decision for both you. Plan a trip and get away for a few days. Remember guys, were working on a long game big picture winning strategy here. Validating your significant others feelings, taking the initiative, and being involved in the process are the main ingredients for the perfect pre-wedding planning recipe. You can check all three of these boxes by organizing a quick weekend getaway or staycation for the two of you. Tell her that wedding talk is forbidden, and you just want to enjoy each other for the weekend. Let her know that you recognize how hard she has been working, and that you wanted to plan a quick break for the both of you. Emphasize that you just want to enjoy each other without the wedding planning distractions. You will be her hero.
Gentleman, make sure you are an active and willing participant in planning your wedding! Don’t forget that although the time leading up to the wedding can be stressful, be there for your significant other and take the initiative to help even if she is not asking you to. Make time for each other when it becomes stressful or overwhelming. Hopefully, these tips will help you navigate some of the mistakes of those that have gone before you. Make sure to check out some of other wedding articles and featured weddings. We are booking tours for 2021 weddings so click the link below and let us show you around!
This article was provided by Gruene Estate.
This article was provided by Gruene Estate.
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